Bad Jobs

The World's Worst Jobs

So you think you've got a hideous job do ya? Well what if you were the guy that managed the hose-truck that empties blue water and whatever from commercial airliners? Wouldn't that be just a little bit worse? How about professional armpit-sniffer? That's really a job employed by deodorant manufacturers. In the interest of helping you enjoy your own job better here's a stinky half-dozen of what are perhaps the grossest, ghastliest, and all-around nastiest occupations anywhere:

Big Fun with Monkeys

For instance, how about if you were contracted to be a Orangutan Pee Collector? Oh yes, it's a real job. Anthropologist Cheryl Knott of Harvard University has been one. And the point of this gig is what exactly? In a nutshell: Anthropologists studying Orangutans in the Gunung Palung National Park in Borneo, Indonesia examine every little thing they can about these endangered, great orange apes, and do so as non-invasively as possible. To that end, they've developed a method of collecting the urine of wild Orangs by spreading nylon tarps under trees, which Orangutans are known to inhabit. They collect the ape-pee in an effort to understand Orangutan reproduction. Guess the rest.

Another fairly ghastly gig is Poop-Scooper at an animal shelter. Now, this is a noble effort. Animal shelters are a sad necessity and anyone who works at one, whether paid or as a volunteer, is doing heartfelt, important work. Still, it's awfully gross.

Dead in the Water

Maybe that one's not so hideous when compared with a Mortician, the person who prepares dead bodies for funerals. While this is certainly a necessary job i.e., 'someone has to do it', it can't be the most pleasant occupation around. Somewhat less frightening but just as nasty is being a boat-bottom scraper. The best part of this gig is that it usually happens in a nice dry-dock; the worst of it is the barnacles, algae and other deep-sea crud that adheres itself to a boat hull. Another yucky job is being the mold-maker at a fake dog-doo plant. Yes, there is such an occupation.

They say that everything is relative, so reading about these less-than-stellar occupations has got to make you feel better about your own job, right? If you said 'no', then perhaps you ought to spend a week or three toiling at Crime-Scene Clean-Up. Or worse yet Poultry Processor. Then get back to us.

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